5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A5 Dehumanizing Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. Regarding the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a lady might opt to be by having a chubby or fat man. ”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a round that is humorous the minds associated with the participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this movie on the Facebook page to garner laughs from her relatives and buddies. It absolutely was quite contrary: my cousin had been furious at the round’s subject additionally the responses provided. My cousin composed:

“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason individuals think you should be skinny/fit become gorgeous, to be desired, to be liked, also to deserve anything…this is NOT OK! ”

My sister tagged me personally in this post once you understand my history in fat studies and sexuality studies (and also as a fat person that is masculine, knowing i might concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot associated with Family Feud game board aided by the six most well known responses: “Fatty got cash” (34 away from 100 individuals surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The thing this round that is particular of Feud does correctly is summarize a number of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat people — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling down myths that are fatphobic demonstrably maybe not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat systems to get laughs that are cheap. Let’s proceed through each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to men of size.

1. “Fatty Got Money! ”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Cash or Energy

The misconception: the reality that this misconception is one of popular regarding the six offered responses — 34 regarding the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or even a similarly-worded response — is troubling by itself. This misconception is something we come across throughout American tradition, whether it’s in films, politics, or culture that is popular.

The general assumption is that this fat man has to have money or some sort of power if a classically attractive person of any gender is with a fat man. Why else would somebody who could presumably get with anybody they desired prefer to get with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This sort of idea is incredibly damaging for the complete large amount of fat males, placing all of their value as individuals in to the cash or energy they could or might not have.

More Radical Reads: going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the guy within the picture

The reality: While you will find, needless to say, many people whom only look for relationships for the money or energy, the truth is that frequently, individuals will prefer to get by having a man that is fat they really wish to be with him. This misconception is significantly less frequently placed on thin or “fit” males, unless of program that individual is famous to own cash or energy. However it’s much easier for individuals to know two skinny or typically attractive individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or usually appealing individual chooses become with a fat guy for any other less shallow reasons.

2. “She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Just Like Other Fat People

The misconception: with this specific misconception, we come across exactly just how individuals try to simply just take away fat people’s agency. It means that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat individuals, because they only find other fat people attractive or that’s all they can “get”, in the most brutal of terms whether it’s.

Slipped into this misconception is a relevant fatphobic myth: that most fat everyone loves for eating a large amount of meals, and all sorts of individuals who like to consume food are fat.

The facts: place plainly, the presumption that fat individuals will just seek relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, thin, as well as in between — are and sometimes are drawn to a wide number of individuals of most sizes and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t totally fatphobic and sizeist.

And also as for the basic indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that’s another misconception too.

3. “She’ll Look Better”: Fat Guys Are Ugly

The misconception: All men that are fat in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than just about any partner they might ever have. Such men’s partners would just make use of them to seem more desirable in contrast. This misconception makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship with a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to presumably make their non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The facts: just like some individuals might pursue a man that is fat cash or energy, many people might just pursue fat males to appear more appealing to other people. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this solution might have us think.

I’ll keep saying the idea, even when We appear to be a record that is broken many individuals actually find fat men appealing!

4. “She’s In Love”

It was the only real truly mocking-free answer included in the utmost effective responses from the board. That by itself is illustrative for the entrenched fatphobia on display within the remaining portion of the answers. In addition is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 individuals surveyed, “She’s in love” was the solution written by just nine people.

What exactly are fat males watching likely to think of their health and their well well worth as people?

5. “He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The myth: it is one particular “positive stereotypes” many of us attempt to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all gay datingranking.net/it/jpeoplemeet-review men are stylish and confident. ”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, yet not much else regarding the “positive” part of stereotyping. As proof of this, one of many game show contestants gave a solution that finished up perhaps not being from the board: that a female would date a man that is fat he was proficient at sex. Steve Harvey, in their “comedic” fashion, reacted as though it was probably the most answer that is outrageous the planet, using the other participants plus the market laughing in agreement. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat guys can cuddly be warm and, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The facts: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is the fact that they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. A whole lot worse, they alienate whoever really wants to be viewed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Really the only quality that is redeeming tradition enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, rather than even 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddy bears. Even though many fat guys are indeed “warm and cuddly, ” it is harmful in order for them to see this as their only good trait.

Further, just exactly what somebody perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is usually totally subjective and situated in individual preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys could possibly be “good” at sex further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

6. “He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too In Need Of Like To Be Unfaithful

The myth: Fat men won’t ever cheat on their lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they usually have inside their present relationship. Put simply, they already know that no one else would like to be using them.

The facts: To bluntly put it, it is directly incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and intimate attention.

As damning as it might be to acknowledge, fat guys are in the same way likely as some other guys to cheat to their partners. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat men are incredibly ugly, they would be given by no one to be able to cheat on the lovers, which, once again, normally drastically wrong to assume.